Saturday, July 09, 2016

Working my way back

Just like so many other bloggers, you take a break thinking it will just be short while and suddenly you're out of the habit and weeks turn to months and then you wonder if you should continue writing at all.

Yes, it's now the beginning of July and I last posted at the end of February. I really didn't think it was that long. (it's often that way, isn't it?) I thought about my blog often. I had ideas I wanted to write about but then would put aside for later, and life came and went and time passed as it always does.

I also ponder the point of writing blogs nowadays. First there are so many blogs and so much to read, how do people have the time to get to it all? Over time, I optimistically signed up for all sorts of different newsletters to be emailed to me and then just let them pile up in my inbox until I have a thousand messages.

I fell away from reading other's blogs because I was addicted to Facebook and spent all my time scrolling through the content there. So much to read, so many videos to watch. And like so many others, I spent too much time watching and reading about other people's lives that I neglected my own.

I encountered issues in just about every 'sector' of my life - except, thankfully, my relationship with Jp. That's still steady as a rock

The largest struggle this past spring was my job. Oh yes,  I have long struggled with my job and I'm sure I've written about it many times before. I love the work but struggle to understand those I work with and there are some accounts/customers that are truly very difficult to deal with on a daily basis. But with the current job market and the high cost of living even just outside of the Vancouver area, I am hesitant to make the change elsewhere.

I struggle with the possibility that I could be more fulfilled elsewhere   - or not. I could be paid more - or not. I could be valued and rewarded more - or not. I very conscious that the grass isn't greener and one often ends up only exchanging one issue for another. I'm faced with the "devil you know" mentality.

And then this past spring I reached what I'm very certain was 'occupational burnout'. No, I didn't seek medical help - do you really think a GP doctor is going to address that. Besides, they would probably either prescribe an anti-depressant or sign paperwork for a stress leave. Neither of which I wanted to do.

If you're still here, I think I'll break this into a couple of posts. I know when I see a really long article or post, I tend to skip it to read it later... and then I often don't. So I'm going to say more another day. And if no one is reading, then this may just be a good online journal for me.

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