Monday, September 30, 2013

Darkness that can't be avoided (don't read if you're happy)

Some days it seems that if I slow down too much I feel depressed. It seems that depression is a dark "friend" that is really always there, just waiting to step out of the darkness, waiting for the right opportunity to take over.

I wanted to write something about this subject for a long time but I just kept putting it off, I didn't know how it would be received. But then yesterday I saw this collection of comics being passed around the internet and I'm sure many more people than I thought also have this issue to deal with.

Here's the collection. Does it resonate with you as well? Does it help to know that so many others are probably feeling similar?

A lot of things have come together recently - work issues, family issues, MONEY issues and then there is our depressing fall weather - it's cold, it's damp and we're experiencing monsoon rains. The weather really doesn't help me. I really hate to be cold. In times like this there are only a few places where I feel warm - in front of the fire, under the covers (especially when the mattress heater is on) and the shower.

I keep trying to tell myself I'm going through a transition and I have to get to the bottom before I can get to the top but a little part of me calls "bullshit" on those thoughts. Christmas is coming. I don't know how much money I'll have for gifts. I'm old enough that I should be able to afford nice gifts but this year I'm not so sure. Christmas is only 85 days away. Eeep!

I didn't mean to drag you down. In fact, I'd be surprised if you've read this far. It's hard enough to deal with your own depression let alone someone else's, isn't it?

I don't have a solution. It's time to go to work now. I will keep my mind busy with work stuff and not allow my brain to get idle enough to realize how I really feel today. That's the only way I know how to not sink so low. If you want to read more about this subject, I also came across this writer: Hyerbole and a Half and my friend Woz Flint posed this "beat the blues box" idea you could also try. How do you handle to low days?


Anonymous said...

Wow. Another great post! Tough subject and you handled it well. Sadly I can relate to the cartoons, especially the first several and the relationship to the bed. :-(

Possibly. Maybe. From what I've read in your blog and in this post is that you have made a lot of positive changes. That can be scary and the old you will speak up with voices of doubt. Fortunately you are trying to work through it. Good.But acknowledge them and put them away.

Second. There is the illusion of control. That you have the power to direct the course of events. The short answer is we have no such control.It can appear as if we have it right up to the time it becomes obvious we don't. Like the kid spilling on the table, or the car that won't start.

The trap is the illusion that one thing leads to another.If I work hard, I'll have money. If I am a good person I'll get what I want.

Hopefully this is enough to redirect your thinking. You are working on changes. Things may not go as planned. Realize that is good but you don't control the out comes.

"We will never have the life we want through doing something that will get us the life we want" Cheri Huber.

don't ignore your feelings or beat yourself up for having them.

Good job on speaking out.

Best wishes



Little Treasures said...

I've just read deb's comment and must conclude she has it covered greatly. I don't think I will be wrong to say that many of us have "darkness" come over them once in a while- you just have to find the strength and look for the light - I always try to do that. In those moments I never falter and count my blessings and feel better almost instantly. Let your blessings make your days brighter!

My Little Corner said...

Thank you Little Treasures! I appreciate your comment, thank you for your inspiring words