Blog Challenge - How have I changed in the last two years?

I've decided to participate in a blog challenge this month, just for fun and to get myself back in the writing groove. Since school's been out and I've cut back on dance, I've really been enjoying reconnecting with myself - time to create again, time to relax and sit in the sun. I  won't quite dance completely but for fall I will cut back, opting out of the performance classes and dropping in where my schedule allows. Maybe a bit of a break will be good for me. Besides I'm still figuring out my muscle pain and trying to heal that dang heel spur pain.

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Now back to the question :

(1) in the past two years I've changed a lot in my dance. I've been to several workshops, I've tried different teachers and I've done several performances. Although I still get the backstage and preparatory jitters, I have since realize that nothing bad will happen if I do make a mistake. For my last big performance in June, I worked very hard on learning the pieces, I took two days off work to sew my costumes and I had a meltdown backstage that only my instructor could bring me back from. But on stage I think I did pretty well. However, to date, I have yet to see a photo or a video and that's very frustrating to me. In fact this past year*, I had promised myself I'd work harder than I ever had and I would take all the workshops that I could. I even applied for - and won - a dance scholarship. Unfortunately at all the performances I did this year, I somehow managed to be completely in the wrong spot for the photographers. I was cut out of one whole video and two far from the lens in another and still waiting for the June videos. Photos were pretty much the same, due to space constrictions and the fact that I'm a nice gal, I took to the back row a couple of times - unfortunately that meant I wasn't visible for photos. Since no family or friends (non-dance friends) were at my performances, I have no real feedback on how I did. And that's a deal breaker for me.

It was a real lunchbox let down. And it's changed my approach for this upcoming year.

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(2) As with most people, I've evolved with my crafts - I look back to things I've put up in my shop over the past couple of years and I wonder about my thought process. I hope that I'm making much nicer items and better choices for the products now.

(3)With age, I've mellowed. Or I'm trying to mellow. See my previous posts on 'occupational burnout'. I'm trying to relax and not let work stress me out so much. I do like my work, but my employer doesn't have the best way of dealing with people and some customers are absolutely hellish - but the bottom line - I like my work.

(4) I'm struggling with my aging body and accepting that I can't do the things I once did. I'm letting go of more of the past, realizing something's are fruitless to hold onto. And have even let go of many future hopes realizing my life really hasn't turned out at all the way my younger self thought (or hoped it would). I've accepted that my life seems to be unorthodox compared to most, in fact, at times it had been almost predictable that its turned out different than expected (now that's a paradox isn't it?)

That was a good question.  Perhaps I should ponder it more in my personal journal as I know I could drone on and on but don't want to scare you away (again) LOL

* I tend to think of dance in school year - not

calendar year i.e. Sept 15-June2016. So this

school year is coming to an end with my big

3 day dance retreat in the next town over. 

Whoops, I let time fly again....

Wowza, it's been almost a month since I've been here? Time flies that's for sure.
It does seem like I had the 'I'm so busy' illness the last few weeks. A big part of  it was a large volume of work at my day job. I don't know why, but I always get so heavily invested in work to be done. So much so that I end up stressing myself out, making myself sick - and I'm the only one at work that notices! My boss never says anything - good or bad, one way or the other - and neither does anyone else really. It's all self inflicted. I don't like owing reports or invoices etc to people. Jp never gets like that for his work, and it seems that this is more of a female thing doesn't it? I never even used all my vacation days last year.

Well, it has to stop. It's just not healthy. It's not going to do anyone any good if I get sick from stress. I only made that decision on Thursday, so I only practiced my new rule on Friday. I'll let you know how it goes!

December was also busy with handknit orders for my little Etsy shop. I had lots to do. I guess I haven't shown you. Here's a couple of items:

Crochet and Knit Converse Sneaker Slippers

Crochet Christmas Tree

And lots and lots of pairs of finger cymbal aka zill, covers, for my fellow bellydance friends. The rainbow ones seem to be the most popular

There were a couple other items but I guess the photos are on other devices so I will have to show you later. 

Happy New Year! My resolution is to post more frequently on my blog!! But I have to admit with Facebook and Instagram etc - it's hard to repeat everything more than once when you have to post everywhere, isn't it? How many other platforms are you on? Where else do you post? 

Where I've been, and where I'm goin'

Sigh, more time slipped past me. Each day I have things to tell you but by the time I'm done work, and posted on Facebook and done a bunch of other things, I don't get back to my computer. Plus I do most of my 'fun' stuff on the iPad but prefer to type these posts on my computer. And that was part of the problem. My desk was filled with other things and there wasn't a place for my computer and so I found that it would just stay in its case, turned off, day after day.

Now I have cleared some desk space and I tend to leave it on but just put it to sleep. I find that I am more likely to go in and out of it much more often. I guess the iPad has spoiled me because it's never really turned off and comes on so quickly. The scary thought is that all this speedy computer equipment makes my brain want things quicker and I think my attention span is getting smaller. Luckily I'm not like those some of the people on TV shows like the ones they show on Slice or TLC, but still I find myself quitting something because I'm not willing to wait. I'm still a pretty good listener and my mind doesn't wander when others are talking, so there is still some hope for me yet.

The ups and downs of a dance student

When my dance instructor announced that she was putting on a show and then told us that we would be in five numbers- I panicked. I go to dance glass for the fun of it, I have huge stage fright and don't want to perform. She told us that we would have to have more rehearsals including several hours on Sunday's as well. I think I felt overwhelmed and an a bit resentful of the demands on my time and money.

I started to dread the whole thing. In fact, after feeling like this for about two weeks. I told my dance sisters that I was going to quit dancing after the show. They were shocked. It felt so huge, like I had so much that needed to spill out of me. 

Then about two weeks ago my instructor talked to me about it. I told her that I had a lot to say about it and I couldn't say it all in the 15 minutes before class, but we did discuss it a bit. Then she had a talk with the whole group and told us that we didn't have to feel obligated to all of it. She told us how when she first started, her first dance instructor put her in 14 pieces!! Yes fourteen!! She understood. She wanted to give us an opportunity to perform if we wanted to. But we could opt out. 

Then just like the clouds parting to allow the sun to dry up the rain, I suddenly felt better too.  In fact, a couple of weeks later, I signed up for the next session of classes (and even ADDEDa class), bought my costume for the show, and have decided to do at least two pieces. One of my dance sisters and I are talking about doing our own duet after the show - so we can perform in September. 

Funny how a little pressure and a conversation or two can change everything. 

Here's to new friends

Last night after class,  I went out for coffee with a fellow dancer. We were in classes together for several months before she switched to a different night but every now and again we see each other, and she always gives me the tightest hugs.

It has been a long time since I've met someone that I could talk that easily with and look in the eye when we talked to each other (eye contact is really important isn't it?) And next thing we knew it was 11:30 and I had to go because I have to get up at 6am for work.

I really hope that we're able to meet again  soon. What a wonderful visit I had. Definitely worth feeling tired today. Have you recently met someone like that?

It's all over + catch up

Well the performance went well - I made a couple of mistakes in my first piece but all in all I think I did pretty good and I think I remembered to smile a lot more than I have in the past. We were doing two songs back to back  and the second one started faster than we thought so I missed the opening pose and the first couple of steps to get caught up to the group. We were complimented on the fact that we didn't let it get to us and that we kept going. It's hard to know how the others did, as I couldn't really see them since I was in front I could only concentrate on myself.

I can definitely say that I am relieved it's over - but glad I did it as this was definitely one of the better performances I've done. I'm getting much better at not being so very nervous.

I hope the video will be available soon, I'd really love to see for myself how our group looked.

Monday was a quickie catch up class and the new summer session starts next Monday. I am looking forward to that as well.

Tuesday was Canada Day - and we had the most amazing weather. Jp and I had to go to a mall to pick up an order, however, we probably spent a  1/2 hour detouring because the Canada Day parade was going right past the mall. It was so nice to have a day off in the middle of the week!

I'm still loving the weather, but the dang mosquitoes make it hard to sit outside - plus I feel so bad for Eco who runs away when I grab the bottle of citronella pet spay (or is covered in mosquitoes the moment she stand still for a second).

It's Showtime!

It is show day today. I am ready as I am ever going to be.  I just need to shower, do make-up and get dressed. Time goes as fast or slowly as it wants to, so I must just go with the flow as I am powerless to change the  way the day will unfold. Do you know what I mean? It's kinda like baking a cake, you pick a recipe, you buy the I ingredients, you mix it all up and the when it comes time for baking, all you can do is sit and wait.

I will let you know how it goes. Hope your day is going well too.

Performance Jitters

oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy

It's performance time again for me. This will be my 4th time. It seems so silly to get freaked out about it when there are dancers with my instructor who do 4 a week. Or my amazing niece that is only 13 and has performed hundreds of times and has won trophies and awards.

But I'm not them, and I'm still freaking out. We had a good practice last night. I'm with a good group, we all move really well with each other - except one lady who has been out of town for the past two weeks. She'll show up for the performance but she hasn't been to practice. It concerns us because when someone's not there you fill there place, then suddenly sticking a person in can mess you up a bit.

We talked a bit to our instructor about it - she didn't say too much other than that we shouldn't worry about it and we can't worry about how she performs. And I understand what she means. I do need to just go out there - relax and pretend to enjoy it. As they say, I do know the moves, I just "need to slow down and relax. Don't rush it". That's what I am repeatedly told.

So this week I'll be refining the moves and preparing for Sunday's performance. I'm going to do a good job. right? If you have any performance advice please let me know!

Time to relax.

The show went well - all things considered. I saw that because it was raining and there wasn't really anyone in the park and we made some mistakes  but hey, you know what? We did it. Chalk one up for experience. And we had fun.

Here's our little group:

Two ladies came to watch us and told us we should dance down the street in front of a cafe - so we did. Sadly the patrons seemed put off by it and turned their faces away from the window. It's not like we're a bunch of kids or we were half naked. Three of the people in the group are grandmothers for goodness sake (very young grandmothers, but grandmothers none the less).

Photos are being posted from around the world - it's fun to see Chile and Singapore and Australia all showing photos and videos of the same song and same t-shirts.

Now it's back to our regularly scheduled programming. Regular dance classes and preparation for a student show at the end of June. I'm feeling much better about my performance abilities and my dance skills so I'm hoping this one will be better than my other ones!

The weekend's over, time for work again. (Good thing it's a long weekend next week!)

It's Show Time!!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This is it folks  - It's World Bellydance Day and it's time for the global charity ShimmyMob event! Check out more deets here

And I've been busy practicing all week. I've even been practising all over my backyard in shoes because today we'll be performing outside in a park. I've only danced and practiced indoors and in studios - it's hard to get fluid turns and movements when you can't spin and slide the way you are used to.

I think I am ready and I remind myself of these words spoke to me by my former instructor, well known choreographer for the Shimmy TV show - Kim Pechet -  said to me after my last performance "you know the moves, trust yourself and smile".

I'm still new to performing and I can see that I do get better each time I do it, and I know that many famous performers still get stage fright before they go on, but they overcome it and perform flawlessly so I am aiming to put the fears aside and just dance.

I also tell myself  - I can't stop time,the event will happen no matter what I do.

Besides it's a free event in a park on a rainy day. It's only 3 minutes long. By the time we start, it'll almost be over.

Time to go get ready - wish me luck!
And as we dancer say backstage to each other "bust a bra!"

Dance Experience

Today I went to a dance workshop. This was an extra special event because Jp had signed me up as a Valentine's gift. He had contacted my dance instructor a couple of weeks prior to ask her if she had any suggestions for Valentine's. She directed him to some websites where he could purchase gift certificates for items - dance gear, props, accessories etc and gave him some workshop names. So he signed me up.

And, even though it was a little bit snowy out there, I went and had a wonderful time. The instructor was fabulous, and fun and very talented. Three hours went very quickly. And I think I've reached the place where I will benefit the most from workshops as I have the foundation skills to understand the movements and the instructions so I can concentrate on the tweaking of them - or the combining of them.

I am very happy for the wonderful gift that was more than just 3 hours - it's going to stay with me for a long time. Especially when the instructor was kind enough to hand everyone a CD with the music he had used in the class, bonus!

Now it's time to resume my normal Sunday programming. Hope you're having a great weekend too!

I have a question for you

Every year there are several workshops and shows in the Vancouver area put on by well-known dancers in our community. Typically a dance school will host the 'celebrity' who will teach individual classes or whole weekend retreats. Often the cost for a 2-4 hour workshop can be around $150, and a whole weekend is easily around $350 or more dollars. Plus the costs to travel to the show etc.

Last week it was announced that really 'famous' dancer was going to be coming to Victoria (which is on an island near Vancouver) -so not only would there be the costs for the workshop but you'd need  over $200 for the ferry to get to/from the island plus hotel and food etc.

Why am I telling you all this? To give you an idea of the costs associated with one weekend training workshop. By the time all these costs add up, I knew that I couldn't afford to go. But  apparently my instructor had also mentioned that she couldn't afford to go so one of the wealthier students felt that since our instructor always shares what she's learned with her students, that she would front the money for the weekend seminar and then asked us to help her with the costs.

Multiple students committed to giving $50 so our instructor could go to the seminar. Any extra money donated would be given to our instructor to help pay her hotel and food etc. Based on rough estimate of those who said they'd pay, I'm sure the goal was met.

But I am on the fence about this - what do you think? The dance school is a business. We pay money to come to class each week - now we're asked to pay for our instructor's training? You wouldn't see that anywhere else would you? Would you pay your dentist or doctor for training so they'll be able to look after you better?

I know there is a strong sense of caring and support for everyone in the dance group and I'm not for or against one side or the other - I am just curious as to what you think of this scenario.

Dance Update

The recital on Sunday went well - during our first song each of us (5 in my group) seemed to have had at least one little glitch,  overcome by fear and nervousness, but we all kept going and finished the piece. Not too bad since most of us hadn't performed before and those of us that have, have only done so a couple of times. Our second piece went really well. We owned it!! And we all felt really good about it. And we received very positive feedback and praise for it. Yay!

And so, with each performance it gets a little easier and a little better and who knows what I'll be telling you next year - maybe I'll have done a solo by then! I've struggled lately with doubts about continuing at times when I had trouble with a combination or a move, but I've received wonderful encouragement from my instructors and feedback from others that I will continue.

In the previous post, my most loyal, blog reader/commenter Laoch made this comment, "It is sad that something you are doing for fun became stressful". And that really struck a chord with me. I couldn't get this comment out of my head in Monday's class and will definitely remind myself of this - it's so very true! Thank you Laoch - I really appreciate the reminder!

We have a six week winter break and I'm determined to practice even more so that there is a visible improvement when I return to class in January. I'll keep you posted on that! Thank goodness for DVD training videos and online classes!

And thank you everyone for your support and well wishes, I very much appreciate it!

I'm a little nervous

Today we have a dance performance and the studio where I have been training for the past 6 months. I never had any intention or desire to be a performer, but somewhere along the train ride, I realized I'd gone too far without saying anything and I couldn't jump off. About 2 weeks ago after a very bad costume sewing experience which caused me to lose my shit and unnecessarily scream at my husband (who's been gracious enough to never talk about it again) - I decided I was going to quit. But I felt I owed it to my fellow dancers to tell them in person. By the end of the class, I still hadn't told them but I stayed behind and had a little talk with my instructor. She did an amazing job talking 'me off the ledge' and thanked me for making the ledge big enough for her to be on it with me so she could talk to me.

So here I am getting ready to perform for an audience of fellow dancers and family members. A 'safe' environment for a newbie performer, but still daunting none the less.

All that I have left to do is my stage makeup - I'm waiting until it's closer to the time because I thought it would be best if it was 'fresh'. Thank goodness for youtube, I spent a good portion of yesterday watching videos learning how to do stage makeup. There sure is a lot to learn before stepping out on a stage before an audience.

So out I go, to 'bust a bra' as we say in the dance world! Wish me luck!

Christmas Calendar

Yesterday I went to watch my dance sisters perform at the Annual Tree Lighting at the old town square -it was a warm 8 degrees C but still cold when your costume isn't designed for outside. My feet were cold just standing on the street. The only good thing is that once you get going and you're moving around you might not notice the cold so much but still a tough place to perform.

I'm proud of them, they did really good. There was a small group of Children who sat on the street in front of the stage and watched very intently, some even wiggled their little bums in time to the music. It must be hard to compete when a visit with Santa is right next door to the stage!

My performance is less than a week away. I find myself practice parts, if not all, of my routines anywhere I can. And being fairly new to performing I'd like to be at the beginning of the show, but unfortunately one of the ladies in our group is returning from vacation - her plane lands at 4:15 and she thinks she'll make it in time for the show which is between 6 and 8 pm. I wonder if we'll be the last group performing? Or will we have to perform without her? Stay tuned until next week!

Lots of little things happening, November always seems busier than December these days. It seems like people assume that December schedules are busy and so things start to get scheduled for November - do you find that as well? I'm sure it must be even crazier in the US since Thanksgiving is this week as well. How's your holiday scheduling this year?

Here's my group:

 Thanks for watching

Back to routine

Sorry it's been so quiet around here, I was busy rehearsing for Shimmy Mob  today:

 ...  primary objective is to raise donations and awareness. Funds raised via Shimmy Mob will be donated to Abused Women and Children shelters throughout the world.

 This was only my second performance in anything, ever and so I've been having anxiety dreams for about a week. (I look forward to sleeping well tonight.) But I felt I had a pretty good grasp on the choreography this time and had a good group of ladies to dance with. They were fabulous! Everything went very well. The only not-so-good part is that where Jp was sitting, I was behind another dancer so even though he video'd it, I can barely be seen. But I believe I was completely in view of our facilitator who was also recording it on a tripod so once she posts that I might be able to get a better idea how I did. 

Many of the ladies went on to two or three other events today and so it may be a while before I can share some photos, but I promise I will. 

Here's a video from the Singapore group: 

And with most performers, it amazes me - months of practice, hours of rehearsal, hours for costuming, hours to get performance ready all for a 3 minute song. I guess that's what some actors must go through - and then to find out their scene was left on the cutting room floor? Big lunch box let down!

There were over 50 countries and about 150+ groups around the world performing today - which also is World Bellydance Day. Here's a video clip from Erie, PA

Now it's back to my regularly scheduled programming - just dance practice, and housework and gardening, and work work and blogging and all the other stuff that fills my days. No performing this summer (not that I know of). Although I have to admit that today went quite well, so I wouldn't be surprised if before you know it I've signed up for something again! 

I'm a little tired

Yesterday I took part in a dance intensive - it was about 6 hours of training with Sharon Kihara - an instructor who came up from San Franscisco. Wow, it was amazing. She was amazing- love her personality and humour and teaching style and immensely admire her talent. She made a good point, that for the audience they may view slow, graceful moves that look easy but really there are so many muscles that the dancer is required to engage that it's fascinating just how hard the body is really working. Not only did I learn technique and moves from her, I was also reminded how out of shape I am. I must get back to yoga!

In our first 3 hour session, the first hour was yoga. Intense yoga. Moves that I should've been able to do better, moves that I used to be able to do better but no longer can since I quit yoga about a year ago.  She also mentioned that we should all be doing Pilates as it's extremely beneficial for our style of dancing as well. Looks like I got me some homework! (Well I always had homework but now I've been reminded that I'd better make this a regular part of life!) 

I'm glad that 1 only took the one day workshop as I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to make it through  the 8 hours today, but I made a promise to myself that I will get back to yoga/pilates and the next time one of the famous instructors comes to town, I'm signing up for the whole weekend. So far the next BIG BIG one is in 2014 so I have about a year to prepare - it's almost like training for a marathon.

Eco and I already went for a big walk this morning and I'm just going to take it a little easy today, I definitely have a FULL BODY ache happening - but each move I make, each time my muscles yelp, I'm reminded of what I need to do for my body. Especially now that I'm "middle aged", I feel it's important to keep my body moving well - I don't like the proclamation that says "that the average person spends the last 10 years of their life in pain. " I don't want to go through that - even if that phrase is just some advertiser's mumbo jumbo, I don't want to prove them right if I can help it.

How tired was I? I slept 10 hours straight! I can't even remember the last time I did that!

Can I blame it on the moon?

It's been really crappy lately. Is it happening to you too?  Lots of crappy things happening, and not just to me, almost everyone I talk to is having a weird and crappy week. I hope you aren't.

And I'm tired. Tired of all the little niggly things - missing clothes, rude people, horrible news stories, broken fences, crappy work stuff, compromised credit cards, invoices sent in error that aren't easily fixable and of course the nosy relative story. Everything takes time to resolve and deal with. Things aren't going smoothly. Of course I'm trying not to dwell on them and I'm watching my 'frame of mind' to ensure I'm not looking for things or placing a bigger emphasis on these things but they are  there. And last night at dance almost everyone had what they called a crappy week too! What's going on?  Many ladies in the class said the same thing -they had a crappy week but dance class is often the brightest spot in the week. Sure, we don't practice as seriously as some and maybe there's a little to much talking but no matter how I feel when I arrive, for an hour and a half I forget about life and learn new things and have a giggle or two and I do feel better when I get home. I love my dance instructor and I love the ladies in my class and thank goodness things are good between Jp and I, and Eco is the best little dog in the world. (I'm sorry that your dog isn't as great as mine - LOL)

But back to the crappy week - are you having one too? Do you think the full moon has anything to do with it? Or does it have to do with the long weekend - will it be that much more enjoyable because I can escape the crud? What do you do when you have days like this?

Okay so I hadn't finished shopping as I said in my last post - there were a couple of people I wanted to get things for -one was a little stocking stuffer for all the girls in my dance glass. That was kinda hard because I needed at least 8 items and I'm not exactly rich - it took days of hunting for something that wasn't too cheap but was still a cute little item and I needed to find multiples of them so just when I'd find something I'd realize they didn't have enough of them... I ended up finding a little box on a ribbon that looked like an ornament but had chocolate bells inside. I passed them out at the end of class and they seemed thrilled -Mission Accomplished.

I did get a couple more rows knit on my ripple/wave scarf - here's a quick snapshot of the progress.

It'll look better once it's finished and 

I've blocked it (that gets it wet and stretches it out) 

Continuing on our James Bond movie watching, we're now up to Licence to Kill (1989) with Timothy Dalton. While watching the Living Daylights (1987), the first movie with Timothy Dalton, I could see why many fans didn't like him that much but then I also didn't like that movie very much. Licence to Kill was actually pretty good. Being a bit of a Pierce Brosnan fan I'm kinda looking forward to Golden Eye(1995).

Winter in Vancouver isn't so fun. Oh sure it's mild and all that but we go for days with grey skies. I'd much rather have -19 degrees celsius and bright blue skies with the sun shining than have +8 degrees and the grey skies. And it's not the rain that gets me (lots of people complain about the rain) - for me, it's the darkness. All the lights have to be on in the house all day because it's dark. And some days it's been so dark my Christmas lights on dawn/dusk timers go off at 2:30 in the afternoon! See? It's not just me that thinks it's too dark, the electronic sensors do too!

So.. why am I telling you this, only because if you have the same type of weather, you'll appreciate this pick-me-up:

See that happy dish? That was our dinner last night  - Pina Colada Shrimp and Rice. YUM. It's shrimp and pineapple and coconut and yellow peppers and green onions. Not only is it yummy but it helps put a little summer into winter! Try it, you might like it!