Blog Challenge - How have I changed in the last two years?

I've decided to participate in a blog challenge this month, just for fun and to get myself back in the writing groove. Since school's been out and I've cut back on dance, I've really been enjoying reconnecting with myself - time to create again, time to relax and sit in the sun. I  won't quite dance completely but for fall I will cut back, opting out of the performance classes and dropping in where my schedule allows. Maybe a bit of a break will be good for me. Besides I'm still figuring out my muscle pain and trying to heal that dang heel spur pain.

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Now back to the question :

(1) in the past two years I've changed a lot in my dance. I've been to several workshops, I've tried different teachers and I've done several performances. Although I still get the backstage and preparatory jitters, I have since realize that nothing bad will happen if I do make a mistake. For my last big performance in June, I worked very hard on learning the pieces, I took two days off work to sew my costumes and I had a meltdown backstage that only my instructor could bring me back from. But on stage I think I did pretty well. However, to date, I have yet to see a photo or a video and that's very frustrating to me. In fact this past year*, I had promised myself I'd work harder than I ever had and I would take all the workshops that I could. I even applied for - and won - a dance scholarship. Unfortunately at all the performances I did this year, I somehow managed to be completely in the wrong spot for the photographers. I was cut out of one whole video and two far from the lens in another and still waiting for the June videos. Photos were pretty much the same, due to space constrictions and the fact that I'm a nice gal, I took to the back row a couple of times - unfortunately that meant I wasn't visible for photos. Since no family or friends (non-dance friends) were at my performances, I have no real feedback on how I did. And that's a deal breaker for me.

It was a real lunchbox let down. And it's changed my approach for this upcoming year.

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(2) As with most people, I've evolved with my crafts - I look back to things I've put up in my shop over the past couple of years and I wonder about my thought process. I hope that I'm making much nicer items and better choices for the products now.

(3)With age, I've mellowed. Or I'm trying to mellow. See my previous posts on 'occupational burnout'. I'm trying to relax and not let work stress me out so much. I do like my work, but my employer doesn't have the best way of dealing with people and some customers are absolutely hellish - but the bottom line - I like my work.

(4) I'm struggling with my aging body and accepting that I can't do the things I once did. I'm letting go of more of the past, realizing something's are fruitless to hold onto. And have even let go of many future hopes realizing my life really hasn't turned out at all the way my younger self thought (or hoped it would). I've accepted that my life seems to be unorthodox compared to most, in fact, at times it had been almost predictable that its turned out different than expected (now that's a paradox isn't it?)

That was a good question.  Perhaps I should ponder it more in my personal journal as I know I could drone on and on but don't want to scare you away (again) LOL

* I tend to think of dance in school year - not

calendar year i.e. Sept 15-June2016. So this

school year is coming to an end with my big

3 day dance retreat in the next town over. 

Putting the "Happy" into "Happy New Year"

Although there hasn't been much activity in the blog there has been lots activity on the other side of my computer. Not only did I have plenty of custom knitting orders in December (which I loved!!!) but once things died down, I decided it was time to rearrange my work room.

I am an employee that works from home and have a desk dedicated for my job. Although I'm constantly on the lookout for new and improved ways to work and process the jobs and to become more paperless, I still have lots of files and papers on my desk -this is not a place that I do any other work. In the same room I had a nice little desk with a hutch that I considered my personal desk, but I had buried it behind craft supplies and couldn't access the drawers or doors. I decided that it would be good to have one desk for work and one desk for personal use. The personal desk could have pretty things like candles and flowers on it. I also thought it would be good if they could be across from each other as this would put them both near the window and both near the baseboard heater plus all I would have to do is turn the chair around from one spot to another which would save some space.

This simple idea, however, took three days to do. It involved unloading two 7' tall Bonde (Ikea)  bookcases and moving a filing cabinet. It also involved getting rid of as many things as I could. The task is now complete and I am happy with the results. The room is still fuller than it should be but I am happy with it and will continue to work on it. And I still have 3 knitting orders for January, which also makes me very happy.

As well over the past two weeks I was able to sit down with several wonderful ladies who've not only supported me in my knitting business but also in my dance. It is a wonderful feeling to connect with such amazing people. I also had a long meeting with my dance instructor discussing where I'm at and how I'm feeling and this has also renewed my excitement for dance and the future.  I know it sounds cliche but it's definitely been a journey in so many ways.

For me, and many others I talked to, 2014 was a tough year. It's not the worst year of my life, and tragic things didn't necessarily happen, but it was hard - not much came easy that's for sure. And interestingly, it was the same for many others. But I do believe that those tough things won't exist this year and I really think the tough past was a prelude to good 2015. I already put all  the hard work into building the foundation and feel I will reap the benefits this year.

I've suffered from depression and low moods throughout my life but I'm feeling really good about things right now. I'm feeling happy and I feel hopeful. I don't write resolutions but I do 'set intentions' (so to speak) for my future and I feel confident about the upcoming months. Dance class starts on Monday. Next weekend four of us are going to Seattle for a three day dance intensive training. Jp and I are both working and money's not as tight as it had been. I am hopeful my brother and I can mend our relationship this year. My mom and I are planning a trip to Europe this spring. I don't want for anything but look forward to peace and happiness and contentment. And this is the song floating around my head:

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2014 New Moon

I'm seeing lots of people talking about this:

What do you think about it?

Hmm, I can't remember how many things changed for me 19 years ago - I think it was a good year.

I must remind myself to check back in a couple of months to see what new things came about