Blog Challenge - How have I changed in the last two years?

I've decided to participate in a blog challenge this month, just for fun and to get myself back in the writing groove. Since school's been out and I've cut back on dance, I've really been enjoying reconnecting with myself - time to create again, time to relax and sit in the sun. I  won't quite dance completely but for fall I will cut back, opting out of the performance classes and dropping in where my schedule allows. Maybe a bit of a break will be good for me. Besides I'm still figuring out my muscle pain and trying to heal that dang heel spur pain.

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Now back to the question :

(1) in the past two years I've changed a lot in my dance. I've been to several workshops, I've tried different teachers and I've done several performances. Although I still get the backstage and preparatory jitters, I have since realize that nothing bad will happen if I do make a mistake. For my last big performance in June, I worked very hard on learning the pieces, I took two days off work to sew my costumes and I had a meltdown backstage that only my instructor could bring me back from. But on stage I think I did pretty well. However, to date, I have yet to see a photo or a video and that's very frustrating to me. In fact this past year*, I had promised myself I'd work harder than I ever had and I would take all the workshops that I could. I even applied for - and won - a dance scholarship. Unfortunately at all the performances I did this year, I somehow managed to be completely in the wrong spot for the photographers. I was cut out of one whole video and two far from the lens in another and still waiting for the June videos. Photos were pretty much the same, due to space constrictions and the fact that I'm a nice gal, I took to the back row a couple of times - unfortunately that meant I wasn't visible for photos. Since no family or friends (non-dance friends) were at my performances, I have no real feedback on how I did. And that's a deal breaker for me.

It was a real lunchbox let down. And it's changed my approach for this upcoming year.

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(2) As with most people, I've evolved with my crafts - I look back to things I've put up in my shop over the past couple of years and I wonder about my thought process. I hope that I'm making much nicer items and better choices for the products now.

(3)With age, I've mellowed. Or I'm trying to mellow. See my previous posts on 'occupational burnout'. I'm trying to relax and not let work stress me out so much. I do like my work, but my employer doesn't have the best way of dealing with people and some customers are absolutely hellish - but the bottom line - I like my work.

(4) I'm struggling with my aging body and accepting that I can't do the things I once did. I'm letting go of more of the past, realizing something's are fruitless to hold onto. And have even let go of many future hopes realizing my life really hasn't turned out at all the way my younger self thought (or hoped it would). I've accepted that my life seems to be unorthodox compared to most, in fact, at times it had been almost predictable that its turned out different than expected (now that's a paradox isn't it?)

That was a good question.  Perhaps I should ponder it more in my personal journal as I know I could drone on and on but don't want to scare you away (again) LOL

* I tend to think of dance in school year - not

calendar year i.e. Sept 15-June2016. So this

school year is coming to an end with my big

3 day dance retreat in the next town over. 

Part II - My Journey Back

Upon careful reflection, I decided I had two choices - either I change my job, or I change my thinking. And since changing my job wasn't an option, I had to change my thoughts.

One day a book of continuing education courses from the local university came in the mail. I decided that the courses would either help make me more marketable for a job change (if/when necessary) and/or the subject matter would help me deal with my current work situation.

In case you're wondering - I am an employee of a large corporation but I work from home. I don't have any local co-workers and my manager is in Toronto. If I was in an office environment, I'm sure I'd be able to sit down with my manager or the HR department and work out a mutual solution to help me. And yes, I could phone the HR department, but without them knowing my position or even knowing me personally I'm concerned that the results may not have a positive outcome for me.

The first course that was available was a Human Resources course about the HR department being an effective business partner within the organization. It opened my eyes as to what the HR department does and I learned a lot about how a strategic partnership was possible. Unfortunately the next couple of courses were sold out, so I tried a Business Management course on Leadership skills - also extremely enlightening and informative. The next one was Conflict Resolution and the third one was Business Management and Adminstrative Skills (finding and keeping employees) .

Not only did these courses open my eyes and provide new and valuable information, I also learned that some of my struggles were not unique to me (okay I technically already new that, but now I could hear from others about how they handled the same issues) and most importantly, I was able to meet and 'network' with others in my local community.

The courses have currently stopped for the summer, but I have already received the new fall schedule and I'm looking very forward to the upcoming classes - in both Business Management and Human Resources. The best news - my employee refunds my tuition upon successful completion (one of the few perks still available).

Working my way back

Just like so many other bloggers, you take a break thinking it will just be short while and suddenly you're out of the habit and weeks turn to months and then you wonder if you should continue writing at all.

Yes, it's now the beginning of July and I last posted at the end of February. I really didn't think it was that long. (it's often that way, isn't it?) I thought about my blog often. I had ideas I wanted to write about but then would put aside for later, and life came and went and time passed as it always does.

I also ponder the point of writing blogs nowadays. First there are so many blogs and so much to read, how do people have the time to get to it all? Over time, I optimistically signed up for all sorts of different newsletters to be emailed to me and then just let them pile up in my inbox until I have a thousand messages.

I fell away from reading other's blogs because I was addicted to Facebook and spent all my time scrolling through the content there. So much to read, so many videos to watch. And like so many others, I spent too much time watching and reading about other people's lives that I neglected my own.

I encountered issues in just about every 'sector' of my life - except, thankfully, my relationship with Jp. That's still steady as a rock

The largest struggle this past spring was my job. Oh yes,  I have long struggled with my job and I'm sure I've written about it many times before. I love the work but struggle to understand those I work with and there are some accounts/customers that are truly very difficult to deal with on a daily basis. But with the current job market and the high cost of living even just outside of the Vancouver area, I am hesitant to make the change elsewhere.

I struggle with the possibility that I could be more fulfilled elsewhere   - or not. I could be paid more - or not. I could be valued and rewarded more - or not. I very conscious that the grass isn't greener and one often ends up only exchanging one issue for another. I'm faced with the "devil you know" mentality.

And then this past spring I reached what I'm very certain was 'occupational burnout'. No, I didn't seek medical help - do you really think a GP doctor is going to address that. Besides, they would probably either prescribe an anti-depressant or sign paperwork for a stress leave. Neither of which I wanted to do.

If you're still here, I think I'll break this into a couple of posts. I know when I see a really long article or post, I tend to skip it to read it later... and then I often don't. So I'm going to say more another day. And if no one is reading, then this may just be a good online journal for me.

Bittersweet Moment - Fox Scarf

I'm sad and happy that my fox scarf sold last weekend: 

I'm ecstatic that is was purchased. A lady bought it as a gift to her niece. But it was a lovely one-of-a-kind piece (even though I used a pattern, it was still very unique) that I really liked. It just means I will have to make myself another one, doesn't it?

She's also asked for a custom item, which I'm also very happy to make. I hope she decides to proceed

Steaming Trees

Too bad I couldn't capture it as well in the photo, but it was pretty cool the way these trees were steaming in today's sunlight.

And, yes, I know many of you are under snow or currently in the middle of a blizzard, so it must be an even odder sight to see. Well that's Vancouver for ya - we live in a rain forest - sure looks like it doesn't it?

Charity Crochet Project

This weekend I was busy crocheting 7 cup cozies to help out a friend. She's a volunteer at the Greater Vancouver Zoo and had made a stack of cozies to be sold to raise money for animal care. Except, she came to work the other day to found out several of the ones she made had been stolen.

She was so upset, I offered to help her out and make some too, to replace the stolen ones. Here's my collection:

The giraffee, elephant and monkey come from Repeat Crafter Me's Animal Alphabet. The fox, I can't remember where I found the pattern and I made up the tiger and the lion by copying a photo on pintrest. The lemur was completely made up by me.

I sure hope they don't get stolen again.

calling all knitters and makers

Check out this link to a fabulous knitting production calculator- Project Calculator. Great suggestions isn't it?

I have one friend who seems to think I should do everything for free. I have a shop, I need to earn an income. Last time she ordered something for a Christmas present for a friend.  She tells me in front of a group of people, at a restaurant that she doesn't have the cash (and I had already discounted from $30 to $20for her) but she would pay for my food- but we weren't having dinner and I didn't have alcohol because I was driving- so she got the item for about $13.. I almost cried....

Pro-craftinating!

Another weekend pouring with rain. Perfect time to cuddle under the covers and pick up some knitting. Or maybe I'll do some needle felting. As soon as I get off this dang computer, ya know? Some weekends, it seems to eat up all my crafting time!!

This morning I woke up at 6:45 by a headache.I got up, took some Extra Strength Advil, had a cup of tea and muddled around on the computer. Took the dog for a walk  - did I mention it is pouring rain? - and here I am.

Okay, time to get crafting! Just as soon as I check a few more things... LOL, that's always the way isn't it

Knit inspiration - Mountie Toque

I saw this toque in a commercial the other day - I just love the saluting Mounties   - isn't this cute??

Dang, I wish I thought of it first!!! 

Actually, check out the whole website - lots of great Canadian items! Drake General Store

Whoops, I let time fly again....

Wowza, it's been almost a month since I've been here? Time flies that's for sure.
It does seem like I had the 'I'm so busy' illness the last few weeks. A big part of  it was a large volume of work at my day job. I don't know why, but I always get so heavily invested in work to be done. So much so that I end up stressing myself out, making myself sick - and I'm the only one at work that notices! My boss never says anything - good or bad, one way or the other - and neither does anyone else really. It's all self inflicted. I don't like owing reports or invoices etc to people. Jp never gets like that for his work, and it seems that this is more of a female thing doesn't it? I never even used all my vacation days last year.

Well, it has to stop. It's just not healthy. It's not going to do anyone any good if I get sick from stress. I only made that decision on Thursday, so I only practiced my new rule on Friday. I'll let you know how it goes!

December was also busy with handknit orders for my little Etsy shop. I had lots to do. I guess I haven't shown you. Here's a couple of items:

Crochet and Knit Converse Sneaker Slippers

Crochet Christmas Tree

And lots and lots of pairs of finger cymbal aka zill, covers, for my fellow bellydance friends. The rainbow ones seem to be the most popular

There were a couple other items but I guess the photos are on other devices so I will have to show you later. 

Happy New Year! My resolution is to post more frequently on my blog!! But I have to admit with Facebook and Instagram etc - it's hard to repeat everything more than once when you have to post everywhere, isn't it? How many other platforms are you on? Where else do you post? 

Nothing Changes

Yesterday was a rainy Saturday, Jp was at the dentist and I was madly trying to finish (start and finish) another Christmas present. I ended up watching Turner Classic Movies most of the day:

-The Clock   - romance, 1945
- Suspicion - Hitchcock, 1941
- Here Comes Mr. Jordan - comedy, 1941
- Heaven Can Wait - comedy, 1943
- A Matter of Life and Death - romance, 1947

And you know what I noticed? Not much has changed in 60 years - we have many of the same problems, we say many of the same things - even the dogs look and act the same.  Oh sure there are so many things that are different, but there are still so many things the same. I think we forget that - with our smart cars and our smart phones - but really when it come down to it - we're still the same. Wouldn't you agree?

Christmas "Time"

While others are pulling out their hair in December trying to fit in all the things they want or have to
do, I am the opposite. For months at work I have been crazy busy - there was just never a break from the volume. But by December the weather slows things down and many of the other people I work with one by one starting leaving for December breaks - this allows me to have some breathing space and start making some headway on the backlog.

As well, any orders that I have been knitting or crocheting have been shipped for Christmas and after about the middle of the month, the volume also slows down. Of course I still have things for myself I want to do, but I'm gentle with myself and don't put the same pressure on my projects. Some say 'busy' is a disease - what do you think

 I am getting nice and mellow and enjoying time to cuddle up with a good story or movie (and the hubs) and play around with some fun projects. Ah Christmas time, time to mellow out - who's with me?

How's your schedule looking, these days?

Winter Check in!

How you doing??? (said in my best Joey Tribiani from the TV show Friends, voice)

While various parts of Canada and the US are bracing for some pretty chilly weather these last few days, Vancouver is having to deal with what is considers cold : -4 degrees celsius (24.8F). During my frost dog walk this morning, I could not believe my eyes - I saw a hummingbird going to some feeders - I sure hope sugar water doesn't freeze, otherwise that poor little guy would have to be visiting quite a few feeders looking for on that had melted in this morning's sunlight.

I don't ever remember seeing a hummingbird here, past mid October. I will have to look up which kind these are and why they haven't migrated south.

Also when I was out driving three beautiful swans were flying south - I wish I could have taken a photo - I was driving across a bridge and there was a beautiful fog over the water, but their orange beaks were still very visible against the foggy background.

With our beautiful sunny weekend, I'm sure many people were out putting up their Christmas lights although I was not. I should have, it was the perfect winter weather to do it, but I'm busy trying to get through some Christmas orders... and so off I go - break's over!

*not  my photo*

Braving the Rain

If you're reading this, I am pretty sure there is no way you missed the news about last week's bombings/shootings in Beirut and Paris. There is plenty I could talk about but so many have already said so much, so well. I just want to mention one tiny thing  -  our choice of words.

Maybe this happens only in Vancouver because it rains a lot in the winter, but on last night's news there was a report about a vigil for the Paris bombings. Describing all those in attendance, the newscaster said there were many people 'braving the rain'. I think we need to stop using that descriptor for wet weather. People, it's just rain. Half the time it's light enough we don't even need an umbrella. With today's wonderful waterproof fabrics, the rain does not need to be "braved".

Being a refugee crossing Europe is brave. Returning the normal life in Paris is Brave. Holding an umbrella in the rain - really isn't brave. That's my two cents for this rainy Sunday.

And peace to all the people of the world especially Beirut and Paris....

Remembrance Day

This past spring I went with my mom as she returned for the first time to the Netherlands since she left in 1957.

She was supposed to go to the 70th Anniversary celebrations in Wageningen but was too ill to go. I went for for her and took many pictures and video so she could watch vicariously through me.

The love the Dutch have for Canadians to this day is overwhelming. I have to say I have never felt prouder to be Canadian than I was on May 5, 2015 in Wageningen, Holland.

The soldiers in the parade and the spectators  came from all over Canada, the US and throughout Europe were happy to participate and to feel the love and appreciation of the crowds. This remembrance day I will remember all the soldiers and their families of WWII and all the wars before and after, those brave souls who gave up so much for our Freedom. Thank you. And I do remember.

The first photo is the church where the papers to end the war was signed with the Germans. The second is just one of so many proud Canadian moments of the celebrations.

This is not my video, I found it on a google search, but it is a good representation:

#inktober

Ooopsy, forgot to keep posting these. Well some I don't like so nobody gets to see them.

here's a quick one I did at my desk while waiting for my computer to back up

#inktober

Inktober # 3- PumpkinDoodle

I am not as pleased with my pumpkin as I was my owl, but now that I have stepped back a bit from it maybe it's not soooo bad - I see that it is unbalanced which bothers me. And now that I've pointed it out to you, it probably bothers you as well. Sorry!

This if for the Inktober challenge of drawing something inky every day this month. #inktober

Inktober # 2

I've decided to join Inktober I don't know if I'll be doing any "drawing" drawings, but I will produce at least one doodle/zentangle per day.

Here is yesterday's entry, as I catch up

#inktober

Full Moon Trouble

Wow, it was a little crazy on the interwebs yesterday with all the blood moon photos, wasn't it? Almost every posted a photo. Okay, maybe it was just my friends.  I didn't really get too see much of it - the way our house is situated and all the trees in the neighbourhood, it's hard to keep running outside to see if it has turned red. Still it was a lovely sight to see.

I don't know about you, but I'm having a terrible time at work. I can't tell if it's just a blip in my life, or our company's seasonal schedule, or if I can blame the full moon. It would be nice to blame the poor moon, who just sits up there and brightens up the dark sky because it's only full for a couple of days.

In the mean time, I'm trying to take it easy on myself since I'm having such a struggle getting through my daily 8 hours. Let me know if you think the full moon is affecting you too.

- by for now, D

First Day of Fall

I'm so glad the sun returned, we've had such a wonderful summer this year. No wonder tourism increased by 10% from last year in Vancouver. I'm sure many many people fall in love with this beautiful city.

But the chilly mornings have me getting ready to pull out my fingerless gloves and scarves and right now I have a hankering to knit me a big chunky cowl.

 - hope you had a wonderful fall day as well, 

D